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16 May 2023

Draft post lama: Cerita aku dan air mata

29/05/2015:

Haritu aku lawat mak aku, 
selepas akak aku turunkan aku dan ayah aku betul betul depan hospital,
aku tolak kerusi roda ayah aku slow-slow pergi ke bilik mak aku. 

Ada diantara mereka pandang aku, 
mungkin mereka simpati tengok aku tolak orang 4 kali ganda lagi berat daripada aku. 
Hek eleh lu.

Dan akhirnya kami sampai di bilik itu, bilik itu kosong. 
Mak aku still check up lagi. 
Situasi macam biasa, masing masing dengan phone masing masing. 

30 minit kemudian, kedengaran bunyi katil ditarik lalu dimasukkan ke dalam bilik.

Ayah perhati gerak geri mak aku yang sedang mamai ditemani nurse nurse..sambil menahan rasa nangis.
Dan selepas nurse-nurse itu keluar, akhirnya dia tewas jua ha ha haaa..

Aku ketawa.
Sebab apa?

Sebab sekarang aku tahu aku ikut perangai siapa.
Dulu pernah juga sekali mak aku masuk hospital menahan sakit, tapi lagaknya aku nangis macam mak aku dah takda pula. 

Ok, tu je.


15/05/2023:

Tanggal 15/03/2025 lepas, ayah aku dah takda.

The moment I knew he has cancer, aku nangis sorang sorang dalam kereta.
The moment I knew he has another week left, aku nangis lagi dalam kereta lama lama.
The moment he passed away and it's actually less than one week depan mata aku, aku terkilan.

I don't know how to explain it, 
I don't know how to express it, 
I don't know how to write in general but in silence; I grieve.
Kita redha dia pergi tapi sedih tu benda yang pasti.
I'm still digesting that he's gone -- still. 

Dan benar, cengeng aku ikut ayah.

Moga ayah tenang disana.

Lia sentiasa doakan ayah.  



4 Mar 2023

Words from former lead.


1. "Regardless of what potential others see in you, the most important thing is you want to make a move. You know yourself; if you don't like the things you do, you won't have results."

It was supportive words from a former superior from a company I left for my career break.

2. "Don't worry, go with your gut; if you work hard, you'll do fine with either choice. Don't feel bad; it's all okay. Think for yourself to grow your career."

These are the words of a former superior from a company where it became my first interview after the 6 months career break. It was my first experience working in a commercial team.

3. "If people around you don't speak up, it's a good opportunity for you in the future. But if you want to stay longer, speak up but remember to be aligned with the management."

It was from a former leader that left the organization I'm currently working with. I only work with this lead for a month.

4. "If you are not feeling well, I will advise you to see a doctor and apply for MC. If you are taking care of your care and not getting enough sleep, I can give you my approval or exception."

And these are the words of my current manager.

Having an empathetic manager is undoubtedly a +1 for me.
Because you know that they actually want the best for you.

2023

It's been a while.

The last post was dated 8th August 2022; hence it's around 6 months?
Crazy how 6 months, I have progressed so much.

I ended my employment contract with an e-commerce company and started working at a healthcare company.

Well, 2023 is a bit crazy for me.

I underwent oral surgery in January, and my dad was officially diagnosed with colon cancer.
In February, I was diagnosed with scoliosis.

Despite all that, I'm coping well?

Okay, that's all!