Hargai.

Jangan dilukakan manusia yang kita sayang. 

Lambat laun kita yang terluka dengan diri sendiri. 

Jangan disakiti orang yang kita terang terang mahu dia disisi.

Lambat laun kita yang menyesal dengan diri sendiri.

Hargai.

Brr.

Kajang, Nov 18.

Aku tak harap pun orang akan stay bila usia makin lanjut ni.

Sebab in the end, orang lari.
Sebab in the end, orang pergi.
Sebab in the end, orang lupa janji.

Masa. 

Perasaan. 

Situasi.

Komitmen.

Semua boleh jadi faktor.

Yang mana ada, ada.

Yang mana tak lagi ada, pergi lah -- dipersila.

Takda unsur paksaan walaupun ada sedikit rasa berharap. 

Takda unsur selamanya walaupun ada sedikit rasa takut hilang.

Tahun depan..

Tahun depan aku 25 tahun dah. Wtf. 

Kenapa aku rasa macam aku 23?

Aku macam..tak caya.

Ahahahahaha.

Eh tak boleh percaya lah, doh.

Whahahahaha.

Eh sumpah tak boleh percaya dah tua.

Bhahhahahahha.

..boleh tak aku nangis sekarang?

Gambar takda kena mengena dengan hidup dan mati.
Cuma nak cakap aku yang ambil and edit gambar ni.

Memilih.

Kita berhak pilih, 

untuk mengenali.

Kita berhak pilih, 

untuk menyukai.

Kita berhak pilih, 

untuk mencintai.

Kita berhak pilih, 

untuk membenci.

Kita berhak pilih, 

untuk mengganti.

Kita berhak pilih, 

untuk melupai.

Dan aku..

Aku pilih untuk memaafkan dan aku sikit pun tak pilih untuk pergi. 

Aku pilih untuk menunggu, sampai kau sudi.

Aku sentiasa ada, disini.

My aim for 2019.

To prioritize:- 

1) Own self (work & studies)

2) Right people (family, loved ones, good friends, nice people)

What about you?

Batu Caves Trip!

Low cost and only a short trip but hella fun!

Pada suatu pagi yang..

Pada suatu pagi yang indah sewaktu aku nak pergi kerja..

Aku tekan button remote kereta aku, tak bernyala. Ah sudah. Tak tutup lampu ke sia semalam?

Pastu macam ah sudah..macam kena curi bateri kereta lagi je ni.

Pastu bila check..eh, battery masih ada.

Pastu bila check dalam..eh. Tak unlock pintu?

Ghahaha, rupa rupanya kereta kena rompak.

Pening kepala aih apa nak buat time tu.

Anyway, thanks Bel-Fi sebab sudi tolong bawak ke balai.

And thanks family sebab sudi settle-kan kereta while aku ke balai.

Thanks juga semua yang kisah.

Dan harini..harini aku rasa happy.

Aku nak cakap yang setiap kehilangan, pasti ada gantinya.

Dan aku harap kau juga sebegitu. Ceh.

I was actually sad cause the sunglasses that my mom bought for me for only a week, kena curik.

But today..dia bagi kita sunglasses yang sama. 

Muahaha.

I love it, I love today and I love you.

Aponi. Bangun.

Makin besar ni makin serius.

Dan serius, serius ni membosankan.

Sejujurnya aku bukanlah orang yang serious, serious.

Tapi serious, apa benda aku tulis ni setan?

Kahkah.

Anyway, aku penat mental sangat harini sampai tahap aku balik rumah, aku baca buku. 

Rasa macam setahun sekali aku baca buku.

Title buku ni, nama dia "Change Your Life; 10 Steps to Get What You Want"

Faham tak level murung dia cemana? Sambil sambil tu aku bukak playlist piano on Spotify.

Haha. Apa apa je lah, eh. 

So yang ni yang aku dapat from baca buku ni..aku luahkan ikut apa aku dapat eh?

Little steps are still steps.
Steps bring you to consistency and consistency leads you to achievement.
Don't be afraid, be realistic, believe in yourself and be prepared.
Think big but get there small by enjoying every step you take.
And congratulate yourself for bringing changes into life.
Think of yourself but don't be selfish. This is for you to make your own decisions wisely.
Be yourself, the little thoughts are important and don't wait for anyone to lead.
Don't ever blame others because blaming is for people who make excuses.
Kita sendiri are responsible for our own life so make sure it's good.
Role models dalam hidup adalah penting. To understand, to listen and watch from them..we will for sure learn something from them. This is for us to gain knowledge because there will always be things to improvise.
Learn the basics, be patient and take your time. Always be humble.
To have lives direction there will be goals to set hence, plans to think.
Stop wishing but plan and implement things instead. Jangan tunggu. Tapi kejar.
It's a good thing to take a risk but without being reckless.
Mistakes. No one is perfect and life isn't perfect either.
So accept and learn from it. Learn from it by analyzing it.
With acceptance and with no excuses, do something about it.
Take it simple and don't ever over-complicate stuff.

Okay. Tu je. 

Setia.

Dan aku pilih untuk menjadi:

Pendengar setia.

Pembaca dalam diam.

Kerna untuk meluah, aku takkan pernah mampu.

Kerna untuk bercerita, orang takkan pernah kisah.

Dear the 24 years old me, from the late 23 years old me.

Dear 24 years-old-self.

When you type this, you were (or am?) actually 23. It's November 2017 now..few months to go.

Kerja, macam tahi.
Cinta, cukup sampai disini.
Orang ketiga, pun kau terus pilih untuk lari.
Statistik 2 untuk part time degree, aduh lemah sekali.

Apa apa pun tahun lepas kau boros juga.
Memanjang Kyochon, terbeli PS4 pulak tu. Aduh.

Aku tak tahu lah nak cakap apa kat diri aku yang umur 24, weh.
Aku harap kau tabah.

Happy birthday, dear self.

Entah dengan siapa, entah sorang sorang, entah.
Harap kau tahu jalan.

Timing timing camni kita ada set nak kumpul duit start umur 24.
Kalau tak start lagi -- hah maka start lah, bodoh.

Sincerely,
From the 23 years old you.

Dear the 24 years old me, from the (late) 22 years old me.

Things change.

I leave people.

People leave me.

Memories fade.

But hold on.

Prioritize yourself.

Your 22 years old self is now a part time student, a full time worker and currently socially comfortable with someone for a year and 5 months. You always go out when there's a free time. You suck at studies because you're lazy as heck. You have few friends and you're choosy when it comes to people. You've pushed away nice people. Your social anxiety is getting better. Your working life sucks as you don't see any career advancement in it. But you freaking hold on because you told yourself to focus on degree studies, which you actually don't focus on it at all.

Maigad.

Happy birthday, dear self.

From the 22 years old you.

Different age, different view, different target..

Malas nak cakap banyak. Kau tengok aku tweet year by year.

Tahun depan 19 pastu tahun depan lagi 20. Omo omo omo omg tamat sudah zaman belasan start pula zaman puluhan, I kenot percaya. *pengsan*

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) December 31, 2012

Tak caya aku dah 20 omg adakah ini realiti ataupun fantasi?

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) June 12, 2014

Umur 21 ni memang stage untuk aku keluar daripada hidup menyendiri, kot.

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) September 16, 2015

Being 22 is um, weird? Nak serious, rasa macam wei lek ah lu. Nak memain, rasa macam wei kau ingat kau bebudak lagi ke. Hah camtu, camtu.

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) January 25, 2016

23 memang umur yang critical kot untuk kita plan & start hidup, untuk future sendiri.

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) November 5, 2017

I would say that 23 is the age of pre-life crisis.

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) September 17, 2017

I can't believe that I'm 24 this year.

Umur camni kalau masih takda apa-apa progress dalam hidup, dah boleh risau dah kot.

— Alia Mustapha (@AliaMustaphaa) June 1, 2018

Satu.

Dalam banyak banyak benda, fokus-nya hanya satu.

Dalam banyak banyak orang, kau lah yang satu.

Orang kata..

Orang kata takkan ada curang kalau benar suka.
Orang kata takkan ada yang kedua kalau benar sayang.
Orang kata takkan ada yang berdusta kalau benar mencintai.

Dan kau, kau kata apa?

Aging can be boring.

Dear all,

Referring to the above subject, I really mean it. Haha.

You see, not every old friends really stick to you.
You met new friends.
You mingle with them.
You get comfortable with them just like you did with your old friends.

And you don't have ANY idea on your old friend's life updates because you just don't know.

They don't tell and you never ask.
You also don't tell things to them and they never ask.

It's mutual so don't worry.

I hope everyone is okay. That's all.

Life update II:

Hello. 

Life for the moment:-

Hectic, but manageable.

Surviving, still.

Breath in..breath out..breath in..breath out.

Hah!! Ok cun.

Good news, I'm being promoted.

Better news, I'm ready.

It's not an ending. 

It's a new beginning. 

:)

Dan dan..aku dah start ambil gambar semula. 

Daily routine! Macam gambar diatas.

Aku berhasrat nak start semua benda yang aku minat dalam sibuk sibuk menjalani kehidupan yang hectic.

Semoga berjaya lah diucapkan kepada diri sendiri.

Lari, pergi, mengganti.

It's been awhile.
I'm only here whenever I'm upset and whenever I feel like I'm all alone..

Life is so far so good.
But tonight, is just not my night.
I don't feel right.

Dia kata dia takkan lupa kita, tapi end up dia pergi.
Dia kata dia takkan ganti kita, tapi end up dia lari.
Dia kata dia akan selalu cuba ada untuk kita, end up solusi terakhir dia; lupakan segala memori.

I realized that some people are meant to be temporary despite the fact that the feelings were;are real.
I realized that it's never a regret knowing people who are meant to be temporary.
Maybe it's for the best. Maybe it's for us to learn.

Selagi boleh layan baik, kita layan selagi boleh.

I just wanna be with people who seriously want to be there with me.
Not by words, but by actions.

2018:

Selamat pagi happiness dan pergi mampus, sadness!

mood I'm going into 2018 with pic.twitter.com/IAd3NhBNl3

— preston (@psynote) December 14, 2017